You can have a weight problem without being fat. You can make stupid mistakes without being stupid. You can live in a disorganized home without being disorganized. What you are will define you and your actions more than you think. What you have and what you do, only define that one action. They don't define you and they leave you with choices in the future.
The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "Because I'm a scorpion and that's what Scorpion's do"
Who you are and what you consider yourself to be will shape your actions.
For example if you're starting a business with a direct sales company which would you rather be? And if you were a customer who would you rather schedule a demonstration with?
"I'm a new consultant, just getting my feet wet and trying this out"
"I'm launching a million dollar business"
Your identity for yourself guides your actions.
Are you trying to manage stress? Stop saying, " I am disorganized" or" I am overwhelmed" and start saying, " I am a mom, with a rewarding career, and I'm looking for ways to manage my time and keep my home organized."
Stop saying "I'm fat" and start saying "I'm a beautiful person on a journey to better health and fitness."
Even in casual conversation, don't say you are overweight, say you have a goal to lose a certain number of pounds.
Have you ever made a stupid mistake? If so what did you say? If you said "I can't believe I am so stupid" you'll probably make similar mistakes again. If you say, " I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake" you've given yourself a much better chance of never letting it happen again.
Choose your words carefully
Remind yourself what makes you amazing
If you want a more organized home you can be a busy mom, and you can learn skills to stay better organized. If you want to lose weight you can be a person committed to your health, you can be a beautiful person working on optimizing your health, you can be a zumba-lover or a lover of outdoor activities. Just don't be "fat" don't be "overweight"
How is this different from affirmations? Affirmations are stated in the present and in the positive. An affirmation would be "I am vigorous and energetic at my goal weight of 150 pounds" this is really for your eyes and ears only. You would say this to yourself multiple times per day and it will help you achieve the goal, but naturally if you go around saying this in casual conversation, people will think it's odd. In casual conversation I often hear "my knees hurt because I'm fat" A much better statement would be "My knees hurt because I carry extra weight." One defines YOU the other defines the situation.
Additional Sources of information: Identity based motivation and health Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
2007, Vol. 93, No. 6, 1011–1027